career

I Missed Promotion. I Failed.

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 3 Comments

goals2nd January 2017 – my annual day of goal setting and reflection.

Both activities are powerful; refection gives you perspective and gratitude whilst goal setting provides focus and much needed motivation for the year ahead.

A new year; another 365 days to create a new and improved story.

2016-2017 goal setting was distinctively more positive than the previous year. 2015 ended on a low, as such 2016 started on an uphill struggle.

You see, at the end of November 2015, I was told that although I had been supported for promotion, I wasn’t successful.

Holding back tears with the horrible lump in my I throat, I said to my Career Counsellor:

“ok, thanks for letting me know”

I put the phone down and I cried. I cried hard. I had deliberately held back any tears on the phone because I wanted to appear ‘strong’ or ‘un-phased’… but sometimes being strong is acknowledging how you feel and dealing with it.

Stop keeping up appearances – it’s not worth it

And at that moment, the emotions came flooding out. It was a disappointed cry; the type of cry where you’re like ‘why am I crying’  but you can’t stop crying, then you become further frustrated with yourself because you are still crying.

Then you’re like ‘ARGHHH . Teeth gritted. Hands clenched.

23rd November 2015 was not a good day.

The previous 11 months, I had worked my ass off. Crazy hours, (though productive) harsh feedback and personal promise to challenge myself in every area of my role. I was exhausted.

For me, this missed promotion represented a significant professional and personal failure.

failed

 “Hi, I’m Melissa and I’m Superwoman a failure.

I moped around my house. My confidence was hit. I was angry. I felt humiliated and if I’m honest there was a little resentment mixed up in there too.

I’m a failure. Superwoman who? Nope. Superwoman doesn’t miss promotion.

Side note: I felt very strongly about sharing this. We all talk so freely about our highlights – we go on Facebook/Instagram and boast about how great life is. We speak about our achievements – like it happened over night and failing first never happened. It’s annoying, not to mention a damn right lie.

Well…

winston-churchill
Good ole’ Winston!

No-one ever succeeded without failing first. Fact.

 

So after all the tears, you’re probably thinking  what next? Did I quit?

Well, you may remember the post I wrote about how I met my amazing mentor – well she’s still around, offering invaluable advice and guidance.

The conversation was short and sweet.

Mel: Hi Marwa, I am really upset, I missed promotion. They have said its likely for next time which is another 6 months but I don’t feel valued and they don’t deserve me.  (I was super emotional… if you haven’t guessed already)

Marwa: Hey Mel, sorry to hear this, it’s always hard missing promotion – we have ALL been there. One question before you make this dramatic decision.

Mel: Sure, go on

Marwa: Are you still learning?

Mel: Yes, I am, BUT…

Marwa (interjects) :  No buts. If you’re still learning, you’re still growing, and this company is absolutely the best place for you.

You only quit when you stop learning. If you haven’t stopped learning, then you continue. You continue with the utmost commitment and integrity.

 

1.   Accept it.

 

Just imagine, you had built yourself up for this moment. You had browsed the Prada website to pinpoint your promotion gift to yourself. You’d searched Zoopla for a flat to buy with your new salary increase. You planned even more holidays – because you deserved it.

But I didn’t get it… and I had to be reminded this is was no pity party. Thank you Doreen. (See text message)

img_1834-002And so, my advice is to allow yourself to feel these emotions (in private). There is something very dangerous about unchecked emotions. Do not let them consume you to the point that you act irrationally. You do not want to make a bad decision based on a temporary emotion.

Cry if you want or sit in silence if that feels better.

Go out with friends – let your hair down but I implore you to please deal with these emotions. And when you do, deal with them positively.

It’s ok to not be ok but it’s not ok to quit.

You are a potential Leader. Leaders are resilient – they cry sometimes and this doesn’t make them weak – instead they pick themselves up, dust their shoulders off and they continue. They keep going.

Be open to recognising your own faults, so you can grow as both a leader and a human being.

Do some self-reflection. The best leaders are self-aware and use this to lead others.

He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened ~ Lao Tzu

 

2.   Be ok with failure.

 

Unfortunately, it is a part of life. Whether we like it or not, we will all experience failure at some point in our lives.  The more successful you get, the more it’s going to happen and the more it hurts. But the more it happens, the quicker you get over it. So, get used to it.

Remember:

In order to succeed, you need to be willing to fail.

  1. It happens
  2. You get over it
  3. It builds character, perseverance and integrity
  4. It doesn’t define you
  5. Its only temporary providing you don’t quit
  6. And you better not quit
  7. Because Superwoman is not a quitter (neither are you)

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The truth is; the promotion – a career level jump was a big step outside of my comfort zone. I’d go from a big fish in a little pond to a little fish in a big pond. Quite frankly, there was always a risk of failure.

Do I regret going for it? No.

Have I learnt? Yes.

Did I get over it? Yes.  

Take risks – you might fail but you might not and if you don’t, well it could be the best thing you ever did.

 

fall

 

 

3.   Gain Perspective

 

I’m quitting.

*ALERT* knee jerk reaction in progress

I clearly wasn’t valued and to wait another 6 months for the next promotion round was too long and would impact my life goals severely.

*Cue the Drama Queen*

Sometimes we get so caught up in the goal, that we forget the journey is equally as important

We forget that in order to even get to our target destination there is an incredible amount of work, growth, perseverance and mini achievements along the way. Just because I was not promoted in December 2015 did not mean that suddenly the professional growth I’d experienced was reduced to nothing.

It does not mean that my competencies that I’d worked so hard for were suddenly not good enough or diminished. It may have meant that I had a little more growing to do, but that’s it.

That is it and that’s ok.

It also didn’t mean that opportunities would suddenly stop coming my way. You will remember a post I did on my travel to India – an opportunity like no other.

I learnt that my professional competency cannot be reduced to a title or one level; there are many levels in between.

Take time to appreciate your mini-achievements – cumulatively these create the big achievement.

In my case – the promotion.

A missed promotion was simply a stumbling block. I continued. I didn’t quit.

I aspire to be a great leader – one that is authentic in my actions, one that possesses great integrity and character. Missing promotion in December 2015 was needed for this. It tested not only my leadership style when things didn’t go my way but actually who I was as a person. Would I quit? Would I lash out? Would I decide everyone was against me? Would I suddenly stop doing great work?

No.

I still had a team to lead, I still had a (large) project to deliver. It tested my ability to understand and appreciate the bigger picture.

Most importantly, it tested my ability to deal with failure.

To my horror – it’s not just about me.

Failure was quite possibly the biggest and best lesson, because where Superwoman is going, there will be a lot more failures along the way. And at least now I know that the feeling of failure is temporary.

You are only defined as a failure if you quit. Just keep going. 

I was promoted in June 2016 and 6 months later; this is how my 2016 ended:

img_2333-003
I continued. I didn’t quit.

Until next time,

A More Mature Superwoman

Mel x

How Travelling to India Disrupted Everything I Thought I Knew

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 3 Comments

Maybe disruption is a good thing

So, I’ve really struggled to write this post. It highlights a lot of very personal fears, which quite frankly, I thought I’d got over. One thing I have always promised myself is that these blog posts will be honest and authentic and this particular post is particularly vulnerable. I touch on issues I haven’t previously, but issues that are absolutely real and very relevant in today’s world.

The last time I wrote was in January.

I was geared up for 2016. I recognised the beauty of difficult moments and the way they helped me grow. I guess you could say I was pretty comfortable. Fast forward to April, and my comfortability is suddenly disrupted and it was clear this was going to be yet another turning point.

I found a new challenge; discovering the true meaning of something known as ‘Imposter Syndrome’. And where better for it to rear its ugly head than in India?

Well, after that dramatic opening, I’m sure you’re wondering what on earth ‘Imposter Syndrome’ is?

Aka – “What if they find out I’m a fraud?”

Definition:

overcoming-impostor-syndrome

I’m sure you have just read the above and thought – ‘Yep, guilty’. It can affect anyone, regardless of creed, colour, gender or career level.

Imp 2

So here’s my story…

India

I was asked to go to India for work to do some coaching/training on people engagement, effective management and communication. I would be working with the India Management and Leadership to foster better working relationships with their teams.

In case you have missed the memo, by my own standards I am certainly not a leader. At least not yet anyway.

AND, WELL, TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

I was delighted to have been asked. I was excited to visit a country I’d never been to before. But … I was also anxious that I’d be found out.

“Who is this girl” (I would prefer woman, but Imposter Syndrome was in full swing)

“What does she know about management, if she’s been doing it for like 5 mins?”

“I am a career level above her! How can she advise me on engaging with MY people?”

The thoughts were endless. The spiral has begun. #ImposterSyndromeConfirmed.

judith

With all the fears and disruption that Imposter Syndrome brings, you can be sure that something remarkable is right around the corner.

All opportunities for growth are outside of your comfort zone, make leaving it a habit. Find it and stay there

Newsflash One, Two and Three

Newsflash One

As we are all aware we still live in a gender biased world and a country such as India is no stranger to this – in fact, in India, this is still very prominent.

Fear 1: I am a woman.

The feeling is that in India, I have to work a lot harder to gain respect whether I am deemed to have the skills or not.


Newsflash Two

India operates by a defined structure; in which challenging higher ups and their methods is unheard of. Moreover, you certainly wouldn’t be seen coaching anyone more senior than you.

Within the direct team I work in, I feel we operate Shared Leadership – “leadership that emanates from members of teams, and not simply from the appointed leader.”

So irrespective of my career level, I was chosen because it was recognised that I had the ability to lead or coach on this subject. But this wasn’t the case in India.

Fear 2: They were more senior than me.

You are not good enough


Newsflash Three

India, somewhat unofficially, operates on a cast system. My naïve understanding of this meant that my colour, my blackness, would put me at the bottom of the food chain. At least … that’s what I thought.

Ok, so little old me: on the inside I am superwoman; yet on the outside I am a 28-year-old black woman. [The End]

Fear 3: I am black.

Needless to say, my Senior Manager is an incredible Leader. She embodies the idea of Superwoman in every sense of the word; from successfully driving a high-performing team of circa 200 across two continents to managing a multi-million pound Programme of projects. She does this whilst keeping a very happy team, with each individual feeling valued and appreciated. #Boss

Basically, if she decides she wants you to do something, it’s always with reason and foresight. She rarely makes mistakes. And Melissa going to India was no mistake.

It’s so important to surround yourself with people who challenge you in every way possible.

It’s great to have people like you; but the ones who will make a real difference are the ones who push you out of your comfort zone and then make you stay there.

Surround yourself with these people. As many as possible.

Failure to Plan, Plan to Fail

In the weeks leading up to India I did lots and lots of preparation.

I worked with my colleague (Tom) who had been to India previously to engage the team, which meant I had big shoes to fill. He’d built up a great rapport with the India team and knew how to interact with them. Tom was a whizz with people and he also helped to calm my imposter syndrome down.

(P.s everyone has a Tom at work right?!)

The framework I used was Tracoms’ Social Styles; looking at how different types of people like to be addressed, what environment is best for their growth and the manner in which to give feedback to get the best from your people.

Picture2
Which type best describes you?

Perception is reality, thus self awareness is integral to your success. Be acutely aware of how you present yourself others. To world, this is who you are.

#HarshButTrue

Are We There Yet?

I arrive at Heathrow, I’ve got my two suitcases, my handbag and laptop bag ready for my two-week journey. #DontJudgeMe

At this point, I am feeling quite privileged, I am excited about the opportunity afforded to me.  Despite all of the above, the ‘strikes’ considered to be against me, I was on my way to India and someone believed in me. Someone understood that I had the skills and aptitude to deliver what was needed.

It was time to believe in myself.

When given an opportunity, seize it.

Seize it with both hands and feet and do not be limited by your insecurities

Imposter Syndrome; get thee behind me.

Fake It ‘Til’ You Become It’

My first session was held in Delhi. It’s quite a traditional city – crazy heat and very busy. I had been advised to have an active ice-breaker. I love dancing and I love music so thought we could do a Bhangra Flash Mob.

https://youtu.be/ZyHYSmdZLac

Right – everyone’s warmed up and ready go. I had got their attention and shown I wasn’t afraid to be silly or let loose.

I whipped out my PowerPoint, started drawing on my flipchart and I was away.

I was completely in my element, the teams were engaged, everyone was laughing, smiling interacting and most of all asking questions. Engagement √

And guess what?

They respected me!  Regardless of my career level, my gender or my colour… my insecurities were in no-one’s head but mine.

I am not saying that all of the above is not a problem, in fact I am saying it is. It’s a BIG problem, however I did not let them control me or my actions.

You may not be able to control how things start, the end however, is entirely in your control.

I proceeded to have 1 to 1’s with Team Leads and Managers – they were receptive, inquisitive and had a clear desire to know more.

All of sudden Imposter Syndrome started to disappear, and was quickly replaced by my inner *Superwoman*

Mel aka Superwoman is passionate about people development,  is passionate about leadership, is passionate about happy productive teams and  finally Mel aka Superwoman is passionate about coaching.

What’s more, I realised this battle was internal only. I’ve written about this previously, you really have to continuously believe in yourself – your skills, your strengths  as well as understand your limitations.

I AM competent in this area. Yeah I said it. I am going to blow my own trumpet a little “Imposter Syndrome get thee BEHIND ME!”.

I have SUCCESSFULLY delivered these sessions in the UK. We have seen the difference it has made to individual and team development. I have read a tremendous amount on it, I have even attended training sessions on it in Chicago, for goodness sake. Why wouldn’t they be effective?

YES, I AM GOOD ENOUGH.    

Believe in yourself

These sessions were repeated in Bangalore, this was another engaging session, there was lots of role play and I successfully challenged traditional views on leadership.

Success √

Competence + Confidence = Career Success

Competence: Knowing your craft and mastering it

Confidence: Believing you are good enough

I am by no means at the top of my career – in fact this is just the beginning. But I’ve achieved something here.

I have travelled to a ‘foreign land’ and learnt to build relationships with a lot of the India Team I hadn’t worked with. I learnt to influence more senior levels without overtly doing so and I learnt to engage and motivate a completely different audience to any I’d worked with previously. I was able to convince this team to engage in concepts that were otherwise alien to them and challenge views on what effective leadership is.

Atithi Devo Bhava (Guest is God)

India was beautiful – the people, the weather and the country. It was beyond what I could have ever imagined. I found everyone really welcoming, friendly and happy to see me… which due to my insecurities came as a delightful shock.

I was taught this phrase “Atithi Devo Bhava” – this means “People who come to your country are to be treated as good as Gods.  (It’s like they knew about my inner Superwoman). I absolutely loved it.

What can you take away from this? It came at a point in my career where I was comfortable with my abilities.  India suddenly disrupted that. India was much more than those sessions and the friendliness of the Indian community – it came at a point in my career where I was comfortable, and it quickly disrupted that. In my head, I was out of my depth, it gave me a medium to deal with these fears. It showed me how they can be overcome.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. ~ Susan Jeffers

Fear

It was being out of my comfort zone and embracing it.

Imposter Syndrome can grip anyone at any point, without warning; and its normal. Though not ok. What’s most important is to understand that you can both control it and overcome it.

5 Takeaways

  1. Seize every opportunity with open arms; and if it scares you? Well even better!

  2. My fears were absolutely founded – (don’t let me bring up stats) but I didn’t let them limit me. You overcome Imposter Syndrome by not letting it stop you. Keep going. 

  3. Make leaving your comfort zone a habit. Don’t ever get too comfortable.

  4. You can do anything, because you are in control.

  5. “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t; you’re right”. ~ Henry Ford 

 

IMG_4895

 

Mel (Superwoman) x

 

 

If you’re interested in “Fake it til’ you become it’, check out Amy Cuddy Ted Talk on “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are”.

7 Reasons Why 2015 Was A Year of Growth And Now I’m Ready For 2016!

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 2 Comments

So, I’m going to jump forward in time for you a little.

Last time I wrote, I had been lucky enough to reach out to an amazing woman (via LinkedIn), whom I’d never met, who then went on to become my mentor. I spoke about the power of reaching out and how that first step has changed my professional life thus far.

Fear? What fear?

Superwoman? Oh hey… yeah that’s me.

Melissa Owusu.

Today is the 31st December 2015 and with the New Year imminently approaching, like most people, I tend to reflect on my achievements; both personally and professionally.

As always, I am going to share my professional journey in the last 12 months with you. It’s authentic, it’s real and not always fabulous; but it’s a journey nonetheless.

I hope you’ll read this and be inspired – 2015 was a year of growth. But 2016 will be a year of produce.

 

FluxIMG_3677

Sometimes, I am so focused on the future that I forget to enjoy the present and that’s exactly how I started 2015. I don’t know about you, but I seem to be in such a rush to get to the next chapter, I struggle to just live in the present and sometimes you need 365 days to remind you that the present really is a gift.

Here goes…

I’ve been in a constant state of flux. What do I mean by that, you ask? Yeah, I had to work that out myself. For me, it was essentially a constant movement of both the greatest moments ever versus the worst moments ever, where I questioned everything and those horrible doubts from my first year of work would resurface.

Ironically, when reflecting on these moments, I’d grow (loads). Both the greatest and the worst moments taught me to believe in myself, and realise that this self-belief must be a conscious action all the time. It has taught me the importance of consistency whilst, at other times, I’ve learnt how to evolve, adapt and change to such a fluid environment, such as the workplace.

I can honestly say this year has taught me how to be better, a better professional, a better consultant, a better manager, a better direct report, a better listener, a better leader, a better Melissa.

The only person you are in competition with is yourself and therefore this year, I won.

 

 

Below are 7 reasons as why this year has been one of growth and boy! Am I grateful.

1.    Nothing beats hard work but working harder and smarter is a winning formula.

Damn, this year I worked my ass off. It wasn’t just the late nights and the odd early morning (I am not a morning person FYI) or;  the fact that I was worn down and super tired like every day, actually  It was the mental energy applied – the constant reading and shadowing of more senior staff. It was making a conscious effort to be being better at all elements of my role and working out the best way to accomplish that. It was hearing the harsh truth from my manager that I am difficult to manage and that in itself was hindering my own advancement. In fact, I think that was the first time since joining the firm 2 years ago that I cried, not a pity party but one of frustration and self reflection. Melissa needs to get it together.

The hardest things to hear are often the best things to change the way you think, the way you act and inspire growth

 

 

2.    I learnt, still learning what it takes to be a good Manager

I walked into 2015 as a mid-level consultant, a perfectionist, always wanting to do things myself and struggling to delegate (because obviously I am Superwoman).

But now, I am walking into 2016 as a Manager, one that’s still learning, using my ability to connect with people as leverage to coach, mentor, encourage support and lead a team. I learnt to let go, I learnt to teach, I learnt to give feedback, I learnt to be ok with other people making mistakes. I learnt that that was the only way to learn.

Most importantly… I learnt to understand individuals different to myself; helping them improve in the way they learn best.

FullSizeRender
A  text I received from a someone I managed, they got promoted!

 

3.    I learnt to Self-Motivate

This was one of the hardest growth points. There were days when quite frankly – CBA[1]. The project may have been running at red (not good), with difficult clients and the team needing more time for growth. But to be honest – the above are just excuses. Get over them!

You have to be able to come in and just get on with it regardless of circumstance. You still have a job to do and a team to lead. Work out how to do better, then do better.

Successful people are successful because they didn’t give in. There’s no other secret formula.

I have learnt to self-motivate when I can’t be bothered; a tool that’s been invaluable this year and will be continue to be in the many years to come.

give up

 

 

4.    There is something you can learn from everyone, regardless of level. Don’t be fooled by hierarchy.

I learned from one my direct reports[2] that I was terrible at explaining tasks that I wanted done. I’m talking really crap. I’d then get frustrated as to why it wasn’t done the way I had asked.

I always think at 100 miles an hour; which isn’t always conducive to learning new things. She taught me to slow down, to breathe and would clarify the task to me to confirm both parties had understood the request. I then adopted that method with my management.

I’ve also been inspired by interns. But one in particular – shout out to Mariam. She reminded me to be present, to be grateful for what I do but to also dream big and allow nothing to stop me.

Everyone you meet has something valuable to add. Don’t be a hierarchy snob, you may just miss your growth lesson.

 

 

FullSizeRender-1
Mariam and I

 

 

5.    Adapt or get left behind… just like Blockbusters

Yes, so I work in Consulting and they say that 1 year in Consulting is equivalent to at least 2 years in industry. Mate. They were right!

This year I have I’ve completed way more than I anticipated – a core consulting role, Procurement lead, Sales lead, Project Manager, People and Engagement Lead, Recruitment and Resourcing and strategized for my client.

And now, I’ve ended as a Programme Manager with a team of 11. Sometimes, I’ve had to do these all at the same time.

I’ve learnt to ask questions without fearing whether people think I’m stupid or not. I’ve learnt to rely on peers for guidance and support; working smarter. I have learnt to adapt to all these roles even when I struggled to grasp the responsibilities and do you know what?  I have LOVED it.

There are many factors to career progression, your ability to adapt is vital.

 

 

6.    Your career, it’s a marathon not a sprint

My Manager has said this to me quite a few times this year and to be fair, aside from the fact she is right… it was just annoying. I want it and I want it now. #Millennials.

I have finally taken time to process it. A marathon is lengthy; it’s about endurance, perseverance and the ability to push past your comfort zone. The ability to keep going when you feel likeendurance giving up… and that’s exactly it. Your career on average will span 30 years, to last that long and be the best you can; you will need to endure, to persevere and keep going when the going gets tough. You will need learn new things, acquire new skills and behave in a different way. Just like a Marathon, your career is a long journey, a long journey of growth.

 

So, finally, what does growth in 2015 look like for me? It looks like this: 

  • The ability to not only manage people but to lead them whilst constantly trying to better yourself
  • Ability to create compelling commercial propositions and deal shaping for very senior stakeholders within the financial services industry (£1m +)
  • Ability to present to senior stakeholders without fear, but confidence in my ability and experience. To understand how to not just interact with these senior stakeholders but how to engage and build long lasting credible relationships.

Funnily enough – the 3 attributes above were on my 2015 goals list 😉

So 2016 darling, I welcome you with open arms. For the foundation that was 2015 has been laid and the growth that was needed has been achieved. 2016 will bear the fruits of my labour #Harvest

What did your 2015 look like? How can you be better? If it wasn’t such a good year, what was the silver lining? there’s always a silver lining.

Our strength lies in our ability to put things into perspective; to recognize growth and learn from what seem like our hardest moments.

What will your 2016 be? In any case it should be everything 2015 was and more; the good, the not-so bad and the greatest yet.

Superwoman, signing out.

x

Check this article on 16 lists to jumpstart your 2016 Career, very useful!

http://www.inc.com/the-muse/16-lists-to-make-to-jumpstart-your-career-in-2016.html?cid=sf01001&sr_share=twitter 

[1] ‘Can’t be asked’ for y’all oldies out there

[2] (someone that reports to me/ I am responsible for their growth)

Mentors, What’s The Big Deal Anyway?

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 11 Comments

Ok, so ‘mentor’ is a massive buzzword at the moment, it’s normally preceded by the words ‘I need a…’ It probably comes hand in hand with career progression, passion or purpose. Funny enough it is an essential part of my journey so I thought I would share with you how I found my mentor and how she made a huge impact on my life and continues to do so.

So really, what is the big deal anyway?

Why, even a wannabe Superwoman needs a mentor;

  • She overcame a job that made her severely unhappy – alone
  • Unemployment where she questioned her self-worth and almost became hopeless – alone
  • In her first year of work where she challenged her own ability – alone

Well I guess it’s just that, the above though hard & testing can be done alone. To achieve real career success, professional credibility and influence in any field, you cannot do it alone and there is nothing more powerful than someone who has travelled that road previously.

Studies show the most successful people have mentors, Steve Jobs (Apple) mentormked Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook), Larry Summers mentored Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO and Creator of Lean In), and Jaz- O mentored Jay-Z (Hip-hop Millionaire Mogul and Entrepreneur)

I am so very excited about sharing this part of my journey with you; arguably this is when my transition began. I was no longer a graduate; now I am a professional in my own right and needed someone to kindly show me the way.

Where am I?

August 2012, two years into a great role and my skill-set, along with my confidence, has grown exponentially. I’ve also been introduced to red wine – Malbec to be precise, blame that on one of my old Directors.

I now have around 20 key accounts under my belt, won by me and now managed by me.

My role has developed into a product specialist and I was hanging with the bigwigs at the top of the BT tower. Meetings were held at the W Hotel and guess what? Yep, I was still power-dressing. #Consistency.

Oh and I’ve also managed to win me an iPad for going above and beyond my job role.

Life is sweet.

But ermm… so what next?

I had hit the glass ceiling, this company was small, with middle-management near enough non-existent and the next level up from my position was Director. Though I wanted to be Superwoman, I wasn’t quite ready for Directorship after 2 years… #Awks.

Turning Point; I Need A Mentor

Mentors; they have been there, done that and have the T-shirt to prove it. They have both the benefit of hindsight and experience… and you will be happy to know that 9/10 want to help someone else reach their potential. #Fact. 🙂

Mentor knowledge

Who better to learn from and seek guidance from?

Mentors can give you perspective, they are aware of other professions and can therefore advise on where you could be best placed (even if you don’t see it)

Mentors possess skills such as empathy and leadership. They are great communicators and advisors, most importantly they are likely to have a great (MASSIVE, HUGE, LARGE) network of which you can hopefully tap into.

Basically they have the ‘know-how’ and the ‘know-who’.

At this point I had an idea of the life I wanted to live but no clue on how to get there… in fact I didn’t even know where to start.

Finding a Mentor 

Mentor wanted

The journey of finding a mentor is both uncomfortable and beautiful at the same time. You overcome the fear of rejection, you approach the unknown, you hope and when your Mentor finally does turn up, it is indeed beautiful.

BUT

You need to come prepared;

Mentors are great in helping shape you but they need to have something they can work with at the very least, they need a foundation.

Get Your House In Order!

I put together a game plan, in fact it was more like a 5 year plan filled with all the stuff I’d like to do career wise and what financial freedom looked like to me. It was jumbled and probably wouldn’t make sense to another person but having my aspirations down on paper gave me life… and direction. I could do anything #Superwoman.

I can confidently say that 3 years into living that plan, it’s happening and I’m very happy with where I am right now. The trick is to appreciate the small achievements.

After having a vision, I then became a bit of stalker and I unashamedly admit so. #JudgeMe, then read the below

Your career is too important to leave to chance

And what I mean by stalking, I really mean in-depth research on LinkedIn, google and company culture. I wanted a person that had a similar professional background to me and was now in a position I aspired to. Being a woman in Tech years ago when Marissa Mayer had just became CEO of Yahoo meant that though one door had been opened, finding other women in tech was still a rarity. I wanted someone who had climbed the ladder in a somewhat unconventional way and was relentless in their own pursuits.

Fast forward 3 weeks into August, I had found lots of great women; that, from their LinkedIn profiles to my google and company searches, fitted the bill… but one in particular stood out and only God knows why.

She worked for Microsoft and had also held positions at Avaya, Cisco and Vodafone – all massive Tech houses. I guess, what was distinctive about her was that she worked for every company that was on my 5 year plan. And you see, this is the importance of first having a vague vision before approaching a mentor, it helps guide your choice and ultimately your career.

She was pretty damn cool, she developed a bespoke solution that I knew of back then (and now) and she held a senior position at one of the most influential Tech houses of our time. She had to be the one.

Reach Out Even When It’s Scary

So after thoroughly researching her, I decided to reach out. #SuperwomanInAction

I was so SCARED, like what if she says no? What if she thinks who is this weirdo? To be honest she probably did think that. Worse yet, what if she simply doesn’t care, and I’m just in a long queue of people who have reached out previously. These self-defeating thoughts were having a field day… if it was negative, I had definitely thought of them.

I put together a message, it was vulnerable, I left myself exposed (to rejection) and in just over 100 words, I basically said ‘I need your help’. If I learned anything throughout this season, it is to

Be authentically you with yourself and others, ask for help when you need it

Mentors serve as guides, wise counsel but most of all they help you.
This is what I sent her:

Update with comments 2

I can tell you right now, at the very point I sent that message, I tried to recall it. Recalling isn’t a thing on LinkedIn FYI.

I was so badly gripped by the fear of rejection that it nearly got in the way of something amazing. Luckily, it had gone. It was in her inbox.

And my biggest lesson if I may…

Make rejection your best-friend, make it so that it cannot phase you nor dictate how you feel, your greatest achievement will come from rejection. Do not let it stop you.

1 day went past. You know… she’s busy, she’s Senior and works for Microsoft for goodness sake. Get a grip Melissa.

5 days that ‘rejection’ thing rears its ugly head again. This time I complained to my brother Aaron:

Why hasn’t she responded, I knew this was a bad idea… What makes me special’? He reminded ,me to be patient and… oh that if she doesn’t respond what exactly do I lose?

7 days 8:58pm she replies. I remember being out with one of my friends and then I screamed. Little old me, Melissa Owusu, a nobody, a young lady with nothing more than dreams of being an influencer within Tech… this woman who strategises for the bigwigs at Microsoft replies with…

Marwa with comments

And The Rest Is History…

True to her word we met up, it was a quaint little coffee shop in Chiswick, London. Nervous? Yes I was, though I was armed with my 5 year plan and 5 poignant questions:

  • What inspires you?
  • Why did you agree to meet with me?
  • What should, and could I be doing next?
  • What were your challenges and how did you overcome them
  • Can you help me?

I don’t think it’s necessary to call out all her responses, but one in particular left me gobsmacked. (That rarely happens)

Why did you agree to meet me?

She said that in the early parts of her career, she had flown out to Nortel’s (now Avaya) annual technology conference in Las Vegas. She messaged the Vice President and President of Nortel on LinkedIn asking to meet her in Starbucks for a coffee and ‘catch up’. Needless to say she was offered a job on the spot and started with them two weeks later. A few years following that she was head-hunted for Microsoft… because obviously that’s ‘a thing’ and it happens all the time.

I was like…but ermm… I mean I didn’t exactly fly out to ANOTHER COUNTRY, and she said, but you reached out and that is the most important step, it usually always works.

Reach out, it’s the most important step

She changed everything, she inspired me and encouraged me, she advised me on new roles and the world of work that is out there. She taught me to believe in myself and to see the value of my skills wherever I go. She even taught me how to negotiate my salary 🙂

And the rest is history, by the time I left my old company, I had 3 jobs offers, all of which were large Tech Houses (all from my 5 year plan) and I had the choice as to my next steps and my career (we will discuss that transition in my next post).

Here I am working for a Top 4 Technology Consulting firm, managing Projects over £1 million pounds and, a team of 11 as well as Sales & advisory work. I can honestly say reaching out to her was one of the best things I have done for my career and she continues to support me up to today.

I hope I have left you empowered…empowered enough to reach out. X

Mel

In a world of fads and fashions, have the courage to stake out a domain where you are the expert. You won’t be all things to all people, but when you do compete, you’ll win

 

 

My First Year in Work And 3 Lessons I Found Hardest to Swallow

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 7 Comments

So you will remember, after six whole months, I finally have a J.O.B. (that’s a job, for normal people). Not just any job. A good job. A job well suited to me – one that was going to propel me towards my destiny (Superwoman); a job that would be challenging and give me the opportunity for development.

This company was awesome. It was small enough to know all your colleagues, yet it had enough gravitas in the market to be exposed to business technology in a way I never thought possible.

My Director was training me to become a Business Development Manager (BDM) ~ fancy title aye? My role essentially was to help sell new technologies/solutions (namely in IT and Telecoms) and become a specialist in Cloud based solutions and their capabilities.

I would have to prospect for new business, design high level solutions to meet business requirements, support the delivery of these solutions and Account Management. (I realise I have just become one of those annoyingly corporate people that just uses all these words, half of which make absolutely no sense to anybody in the real world! Feel free to reach out and I will clarify)

I was dealing with large contracts, large sums of money and ermm… some pretty senior people. Like I’m talking interfacing with MD/CEOs of small to medium enterprises. #NoBiggie.

Surely this should be the most exciting time yet… why was I filled with so much fear?

Mel's belongings
I came back from my 6 months review to find this…  I ended up spending 3 great years with this company : )

1.    You Are Good Enough

Ok down to the facts:

At this point, my experience was limited to 87 days on a fake business management trainee scheme and 6 months unemployment, whereby the only thing I had been on time to was a trip to the Job Centre.

Despite this, I power dressed, I power walked (yup … this is an actual thing) and I power spoke (projected confidence). Yet under this veneer, there was a whole heap of self-doubt. Am I good enough?

For a start, being one of the youngest people in the office sometimes left me feeling alienated – my experience was limited (if not at zero) and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I could actually do the job.

  • Can I sell complicated Business Technology solutions … of which I currently know nothing about?
  • What if my clients find out I have a law degree rather than computer science or a degree in that area?
  • What if I say or do the wrong thing, worse yet what if my handshake is weak?
  • What if I look stupid?
  • What if I am not good enough?

This continued for months and actually, I got the very same feeling when I moved to my current job. Everyone seems to go through it – both male and female; regardless of level or seniority.

What I have learnt however, is that, the key is to believe in yourself and your capabilities – after all the person who hired you clearly does. You need to be OK with asking questions and asking for help.

In my opinion, you need to spend time with ‘you’ getting to know your own USP.

AwesomeYou need to look around you, work out who is in position that inspires you and seek to imitate them with your own personal twist.

Find out what works for you, and what you’re good at, and make sure everyone knows it – but don’t be cocky about it.

In my case, I sought to imitate  my director:

He was an extraordinary salesmen and relationship manager. He had the innate ability to ask the right questions; getting to the root cause of a business problem whilst being endearing and credible. He was basically like a CSI detective.

I was going to copy everything from his questioning skills, his leadership style to his desire to build long lasting business relationships.

Always find someone in the workplace that you can model yourself on, it will serve as both inspiration and direction

Practical Tip:

  • Write down 3 skills you have, work out how you can develop them, either by being coached or reading
  • Find a role model within your company and ask them how they overcame their self-doubt
  • Finally, don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions

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2.    The Expert Was Once a Beginner

Everything comes with time – experience included

After 7 months at the company I had sold my first account.  I could officially call myself an Account Manager as I actually had an account to manage. My client was a luxury carpentry/joinery company located just outside of London. I had built a strong relationship with both the Finance Manager and one of their Directors. Funny enough, this company was my favourite account … Shock.

Their Director had requested we provide pricing for an additional product. At the time, we didn’t offer the product that he wanted, so I had to go via a third party. The third party quoted me £30k for this product and I remember thinking… ‘£30k damn that’s a lot – more than my salary.’ (Bear in mind this is without margin or mark up, so no profit). I decided to call up the company director.

 “Hey Carl, we can provide you with this product, its £30k but as you are a valued client we are offering this to you at cost”

Right now, I am thinking “Yes Mel, great work, nice sales tactic there, girl you are SO clever… you are winning in life” #FistPump

Well … I wasn’t really.  Even if it did sell, we would make no money and therefore no profit which goes against purpose of my role. #Awks

Understandably when my Director found out, he was not best pleased – I think his words were along the lines of

‘How does a business make any money if you’re selling products at cost price because you like the person?”

Yeah, I was out- I had nothing, no response, no excuse, nothing.

Following that incident, my director began coaching me around business revenues, profits and margins. He said to me “It is OK to make mistakes, it is not OK not to learn from them”, furthermore it’s better that it’s done earlier on in your career. (Though the fact the client didn’t buy the product probably helped me keep my job)

The point from the above is that, we are all beginners once and that’s okay.master

In fact, embrace it – use the time to fail, to make mistakes, to gain industry/product knowledge. The fact is most of our important lessons come through trial and error and with time these lessons will shape you and your career.

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Take time to be a master of your craft and to actually understand what you do. Take time to be a beginner.

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3.    Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Probably my greatest lesson…

“The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself” ~ Mary Bean

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable because days where I would feel frustrated, scared and sometimes even teary, were the times I was learning, developing and growing. Moving out of your comfort zone births new things, things you never even thought were possible. In my most uncomfortable days, I began to understand myself better, what I like and dislike,what I am good at (and bad at), values, passions and subsequently – my career.

Being uncomfortable is great; it changes mindsets, it causes you to focus, it encourages you to do whatever it takes to hit that goal. Ultimately being uncomfortable dictates your behaviour; if you hate a job it will cause you to leave, if you don’t understand something it will cause you to learn, if you’re not happy with your life, it will cause you to do something that makes you happy and if you’re doing just OK… it will cause you to do better.

When my Director would set me, what seemed like, impossible sales targets which put me completely out of my comfort zone, I would embrace them (rather than just cry- I cried a lot). It was in these moments that I began to ‘fly’. It was in these moments where I began to read more.  I read blogs, industry magazines and autobiographies of great business minds, whatever it took to get me hitting those targets.  Being uncomfortable changes behaviours.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s going to happen a lot throughout your career; these are the precious growth moments and with this let us not forget; pressure is what turns coal into valuable diamonds.

“In life you either need inspiration or desperation” ~Tony Robbins

These are the points when change comes.

Mel x

City Girl
Me, in my first year of work : )

Unemployment; Laid Bare

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 5 Comments

And so, My Journey continues… You may remember from my last post; I had just quit my job after 87 days because “if you don’t love it… change it”. As it stood, I was now “NEET”- one of the thousands of 18-24 year olds “Not in Education, Employment or Training.”

Well, let me tell you how I felt – I felt like Superwoman. I did something I was afraid of. I felt liberated and, oddly enough, I felt a sense of achievement. I had figured out what I didn’t want to do and, a message from 27 year old me to the 22 year old me – That’s when you’re halfway there.  

The University Dream had remained just that – a dream.

Months One and Two: The Good Times Were Short-lived

The first two months were fun. I caught up with friends, had sleepovers and was out on ‘school nights.’ I travelled back and forth to Leicester and faked student life; house parties, and 10% off in Topshop using my friend’s student card … #DontJudge #NoRegrets.

When in London, I applied endlessly to roles that I thought I might enjoy, but again, the lack of direction was evident. I received rejection letters on a daily basis. rejection-letter2 After two months it all became very real – Leicester stopped because the little I’d saved had ran out and 10% off clothes wasn’t that exciting when you couldn’t actually afford to buy the remaining 90%.  Suddenly, what was fun and somewhat liberating became worrying and extremely restrictive.

Yes … unemployment is hard. You were never meant to be unemployed for more than 3 months. You have a Law degree from  a top university. You are employable. And there it was – the ‘false sense of entitlement’ playing havoc again.

You are plagued with the disillusion that it will somehow to take 3 months, you’ll land your dream job and this would obviously be everything you have been holding out for…

Wrong. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that.

Finding a role; a career – it takes a while. It takes an incredible amount of effort and focus. I wanted to be fulfilled; to contribute. I wasn’t interested in merely living to pay bills or to simply ‘make money’.

“Do not make money your primary consideration, you will almost certainly fail or better yet be unhappy”

I wanted to change the world. Melissa Owusu AKA Superwoman (just in case you missed that the first time).

Months Three and Four: Superwoman Who?

Three months passed. I was waking up for what seemed like nothing; watching one of my brothers leave for school at 8:00 and my mum leave for work at 8:45. I would call my friends for a chat, but it had to be before 9:00 or they too would be at work. I felt purposeless.

It is not in my nature to not be engaged, to not be mentally challenged and to not learn. The 21 years of my life so far had been filled with just that – developing, growing … and yet here I was sitting on my laurels doing nothing. I was broken.

I was still applying and getting very little traction; I was desperate. The roles ranged from events manager to teaching. For the record, anyone that knows me can pay testament to the fact that, as much as I love to develop people professionally – I have zero patience and, therefore, no business in teaching.

However I did learn the lesson below:

The easiest way to lose focus on a dream is to be distracted by another. Don’t lose focus.

Four months passed. I genuinely couldn’t believe I was still unemployed and by this point I had no money. I was fortunate enough to live at home with my family, but little things like phone bill, car insurance, contact lenses prescriptions all become huge expenses. I had to sign on, yes I was on Job Seekers Allowance, a measly £50.00 per week and the stigma society attached to this was even greater.

Job centre This place, The Jobcentre,  sucked the soul out of me. Quite frankly, the office stank. The air was stale; a mix of bad BO and urine and the atmosphere was cold. You felt like all eyes were on you; you could just hear the judgmental thoughts as you walked in – “another one skiving off the Government – why can’t she just go and work in MacDonald’s or something”

“Sit down Miss Owusu- Why are you here?”

“Well I’m here because I thought I was Superwoman. I quit my job and didn’t really plan on being unemployed for more than 3 months, I still haven’t discovered my passion and now I have no money”

The above, probably wouldn’t have gone down too well, this woman didn’t really care about my ‘passions’ or my desire ‘to change the world’. This woman had a job to do and her job was to hit employment targets – and therefore my role was to fill this quota for her.

She offered me admin roles, council roles and retail roles. Now there is no shame in any of these professions but they were not for me – they weren’t going to fulfil my purpose.

I left feeling even lower than when I entered and nothing had changed. Every other Thursday I would do it all again.

Yes… unemployment is hard.

To anyone currently in this position know that time really is the best medicine. It does get better. Promise x

Months Five and Six: My ‘Aha’ Moment

Unfortunately I cannot tell you what changed, but I can tell you that the 5th month sparked something. I had spent the earlier months; languishing- applying, crying, applying, signing on, crying and crying some more. I knew that I was the only one who could change my destiny. I was in charge of my future. Opportunities do arise, but if they don’t – create them. And if they do appear, make sure you’re ready.

Learn about yourself, assess your own skills, read more, be comfortable with who you are and plan where you’re heading.

Question yourself:

  • Who do you want to be?
  • What are you happiest doing?
  • Where do your skills lie?

“What generates passion in you is a clue to your destiny. What you love is often a clue to something you can achieve.

~ Anon

I took various online psychometric tests around careers, skills and finding your passion. I researched roles that encompassed these skills/ attributes. I researched industries and companies alike. I found role models on LinkedIn, studied their journey and  then I began networking.

I joined a specialist recruitment firm who recruited for my desired role and tailored my CV. This time, I stuck to my dream. I constantly applied for these targeted positions until I got traction. There were no distractions this time and no stopping me.

6 months after beginning this journey, in July 2010 I was offered a (dream) role as a Business Development Manager at a small IT and Telecoms Firm.  I loved this company, it provided a firm foundation for who I am today and was my stepping stone into the Corporate world.

So I urge you …

Keep on not settling, it will all be worth it in the end. 

Mel x

Some online tests I took are below:

https://surveys.universumglobal.com/

http://www.16personalities.com/

http://www.career-test.co.uk/test.php 

The University Dream

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 5 Comments

IMG_8386

So here I am, beaming smile, Melissa Owusu the Law Graduate “top 20 university in the UK”. I can get ANY job I want WITH a base salary of at least £30k – because I have a degree. A degree means you’re employable, it means you’re desireable and the business world therefore owes you.  This is the “University Dream”; a common myth fed to all graduates.

At this point, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do. All I knew was, it wasn’t Law.  Working out what you want to do is quite possibly one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. It takes a lot of soul-searching and, actually, doing things that you don’t like. When you know what you don’t like, it makes it easier to find out what you do like. It’s almost like crossing something off a very long list.  It’s about assessing three things; your skill set, what makes you smile, and your passions. When all three match up you find your calling. But I digress…

After 6 months of endless job applications, my first job offer came along; from a renowned international rental car company offering a ‘Business Management Trainee’ scheme. ‘Perfect’, I thought. I knew I wanted to go into ‘business’ but I didn’t really know what business actually was, or what the job role actually entailed… just business right. It sounds cool?

It wasn’t quite the £30k I imagined, (in fact it was more like £18K…) but it was my first real job. You know, salary, taxes, national insurance et al. Plus, I could finally wear ‘the classic pencil dress’ and the ‘higher than life heels’.

heels

But it was short-lived. I absolutely hated it. I was a glorified driver. Here I am, Melissa Owusu, the Law Graduate with a false sense of self-entitlement, fuelled by the “University Dream…” and I was driving people around.

I wasn’t using my brain and I certainly wasn’t learning about business; What does it take to run a business? What were the challenges associated with running a successful business? How did behaviours in areas such as Finance and Accounting differ to Sales and Marketing. Revenue, Profits and Margins were still alien terms to me.

The hours were long; 7:45am – 7:30pm, and I was on an industrial estate a long way from the bright lights of the city. I also had to buy flat shoes as driving in heels wasn’t really an option and not one of my wisest decisions.

After 87 days I quit. I didn’t have a new job to go to. In fact, I was quite sure I would have to claim Job Seekers Allowance, but at 21 that didn’t scare me as much as going into a place of work every day and hating it. I felt liberated, yet scared and anxious. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, I just knew I didn’t want to do this.  I came home one-day, I cried to my mum, and said I couldn’t do it anymore. It was that horrible cry, where you look really ugly, your mascara runs, as does your nose, and you become breathless (only mothers can see you in that state).

I was working 12 hour days and learning nothing, not being challenged mentally and definitely not growing. I still had no commercial awareness, still had no concept of the ‘business world’ and still no closer to my dreams. And there we have it; my first lesson.

You spend most of your time at work; you’re there more than you see your family, friends and loved ones. If you’re not growing or learning AND it makes you unhappy, leave. Nothing deserves to make you unhappy. Absolutely nothing.

I will never work in a job I hate again, and this experience taught me the importance of loving what you do and doing what you love. And if you don’t love it, change it.

And that’s my first piece of advice to you.

If you don’t love it, change it. Life is too short to do something you don’t enjoy.

Love Mel x

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: if today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something”

~ Steve Jobs