Passions

Mentors, What’s The Big Deal Anyway?

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 11 Comments

Ok, so ‘mentor’ is a massive buzzword at the moment, it’s normally preceded by the words ‘I need a…’ It probably comes hand in hand with career progression, passion or purpose. Funny enough it is an essential part of my journey so I thought I would share with you how I found my mentor and how she made a huge impact on my life and continues to do so.

So really, what is the big deal anyway?

Why, even a wannabe Superwoman needs a mentor;

  • She overcame a job that made her severely unhappy – alone
  • Unemployment where she questioned her self-worth and almost became hopeless – alone
  • In her first year of work where she challenged her own ability – alone

Well I guess it’s just that, the above though hard & testing can be done alone. To achieve real career success, professional credibility and influence in any field, you cannot do it alone and there is nothing more powerful than someone who has travelled that road previously.

Studies show the most successful people have mentors, Steve Jobs (Apple) mentormked Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook), Larry Summers mentored Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO and Creator of Lean In), and Jaz- O mentored Jay-Z (Hip-hop Millionaire Mogul and Entrepreneur)

I am so very excited about sharing this part of my journey with you; arguably this is when my transition began. I was no longer a graduate; now I am a professional in my own right and needed someone to kindly show me the way.

Where am I?

August 2012, two years into a great role and my skill-set, along with my confidence, has grown exponentially. I’ve also been introduced to red wine – Malbec to be precise, blame that on one of my old Directors.

I now have around 20 key accounts under my belt, won by me and now managed by me.

My role has developed into a product specialist and I was hanging with the bigwigs at the top of the BT tower. Meetings were held at the W Hotel and guess what? Yep, I was still power-dressing. #Consistency.

Oh and I’ve also managed to win me an iPad for going above and beyond my job role.

Life is sweet.

But ermm… so what next?

I had hit the glass ceiling, this company was small, with middle-management near enough non-existent and the next level up from my position was Director. Though I wanted to be Superwoman, I wasn’t quite ready for Directorship after 2 years… #Awks.

Turning Point; I Need A Mentor

Mentors; they have been there, done that and have the T-shirt to prove it. They have both the benefit of hindsight and experience… and you will be happy to know that 9/10 want to help someone else reach their potential. #Fact. 🙂

Mentor knowledge

Who better to learn from and seek guidance from?

Mentors can give you perspective, they are aware of other professions and can therefore advise on where you could be best placed (even if you don’t see it)

Mentors possess skills such as empathy and leadership. They are great communicators and advisors, most importantly they are likely to have a great (MASSIVE, HUGE, LARGE) network of which you can hopefully tap into.

Basically they have the ‘know-how’ and the ‘know-who’.

At this point I had an idea of the life I wanted to live but no clue on how to get there… in fact I didn’t even know where to start.

Finding a Mentor 

Mentor wanted

The journey of finding a mentor is both uncomfortable and beautiful at the same time. You overcome the fear of rejection, you approach the unknown, you hope and when your Mentor finally does turn up, it is indeed beautiful.

BUT

You need to come prepared;

Mentors are great in helping shape you but they need to have something they can work with at the very least, they need a foundation.

Get Your House In Order!

I put together a game plan, in fact it was more like a 5 year plan filled with all the stuff I’d like to do career wise and what financial freedom looked like to me. It was jumbled and probably wouldn’t make sense to another person but having my aspirations down on paper gave me life… and direction. I could do anything #Superwoman.

I can confidently say that 3 years into living that plan, it’s happening and I’m very happy with where I am right now. The trick is to appreciate the small achievements.

After having a vision, I then became a bit of stalker and I unashamedly admit so. #JudgeMe, then read the below

Your career is too important to leave to chance

And what I mean by stalking, I really mean in-depth research on LinkedIn, google and company culture. I wanted a person that had a similar professional background to me and was now in a position I aspired to. Being a woman in Tech years ago when Marissa Mayer had just became CEO of Yahoo meant that though one door had been opened, finding other women in tech was still a rarity. I wanted someone who had climbed the ladder in a somewhat unconventional way and was relentless in their own pursuits.

Fast forward 3 weeks into August, I had found lots of great women; that, from their LinkedIn profiles to my google and company searches, fitted the bill… but one in particular stood out and only God knows why.

She worked for Microsoft and had also held positions at Avaya, Cisco and Vodafone – all massive Tech houses. I guess, what was distinctive about her was that she worked for every company that was on my 5 year plan. And you see, this is the importance of first having a vague vision before approaching a mentor, it helps guide your choice and ultimately your career.

She was pretty damn cool, she developed a bespoke solution that I knew of back then (and now) and she held a senior position at one of the most influential Tech houses of our time. She had to be the one.

Reach Out Even When It’s Scary

So after thoroughly researching her, I decided to reach out. #SuperwomanInAction

I was so SCARED, like what if she says no? What if she thinks who is this weirdo? To be honest she probably did think that. Worse yet, what if she simply doesn’t care, and I’m just in a long queue of people who have reached out previously. These self-defeating thoughts were having a field day… if it was negative, I had definitely thought of them.

I put together a message, it was vulnerable, I left myself exposed (to rejection) and in just over 100 words, I basically said ‘I need your help’. If I learned anything throughout this season, it is to

Be authentically you with yourself and others, ask for help when you need it

Mentors serve as guides, wise counsel but most of all they help you.
This is what I sent her:

Update with comments 2

I can tell you right now, at the very point I sent that message, I tried to recall it. Recalling isn’t a thing on LinkedIn FYI.

I was so badly gripped by the fear of rejection that it nearly got in the way of something amazing. Luckily, it had gone. It was in her inbox.

And my biggest lesson if I may…

Make rejection your best-friend, make it so that it cannot phase you nor dictate how you feel, your greatest achievement will come from rejection. Do not let it stop you.

1 day went past. You know… she’s busy, she’s Senior and works for Microsoft for goodness sake. Get a grip Melissa.

5 days that ‘rejection’ thing rears its ugly head again. This time I complained to my brother Aaron:

Why hasn’t she responded, I knew this was a bad idea… What makes me special’? He reminded ,me to be patient and… oh that if she doesn’t respond what exactly do I lose?

7 days 8:58pm she replies. I remember being out with one of my friends and then I screamed. Little old me, Melissa Owusu, a nobody, a young lady with nothing more than dreams of being an influencer within Tech… this woman who strategises for the bigwigs at Microsoft replies with…

Marwa with comments

And The Rest Is History…

True to her word we met up, it was a quaint little coffee shop in Chiswick, London. Nervous? Yes I was, though I was armed with my 5 year plan and 5 poignant questions:

  • What inspires you?
  • Why did you agree to meet with me?
  • What should, and could I be doing next?
  • What were your challenges and how did you overcome them
  • Can you help me?

I don’t think it’s necessary to call out all her responses, but one in particular left me gobsmacked. (That rarely happens)

Why did you agree to meet me?

She said that in the early parts of her career, she had flown out to Nortel’s (now Avaya) annual technology conference in Las Vegas. She messaged the Vice President and President of Nortel on LinkedIn asking to meet her in Starbucks for a coffee and ‘catch up’. Needless to say she was offered a job on the spot and started with them two weeks later. A few years following that she was head-hunted for Microsoft… because obviously that’s ‘a thing’ and it happens all the time.

I was like…but ermm… I mean I didn’t exactly fly out to ANOTHER COUNTRY, and she said, but you reached out and that is the most important step, it usually always works.

Reach out, it’s the most important step

She changed everything, she inspired me and encouraged me, she advised me on new roles and the world of work that is out there. She taught me to believe in myself and to see the value of my skills wherever I go. She even taught me how to negotiate my salary 🙂

And the rest is history, by the time I left my old company, I had 3 jobs offers, all of which were large Tech Houses (all from my 5 year plan) and I had the choice as to my next steps and my career (we will discuss that transition in my next post).

Here I am working for a Top 4 Technology Consulting firm, managing Projects over £1 million pounds and, a team of 11 as well as Sales & advisory work. I can honestly say reaching out to her was one of the best things I have done for my career and she continues to support me up to today.

I hope I have left you empowered…empowered enough to reach out. X

Mel

In a world of fads and fashions, have the courage to stake out a domain where you are the expert. You won’t be all things to all people, but when you do compete, you’ll win

 

 

My First Year in Work And 3 Lessons I Found Hardest to Swallow

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 7 Comments

So you will remember, after six whole months, I finally have a J.O.B. (that’s a job, for normal people). Not just any job. A good job. A job well suited to me – one that was going to propel me towards my destiny (Superwoman); a job that would be challenging and give me the opportunity for development.

This company was awesome. It was small enough to know all your colleagues, yet it had enough gravitas in the market to be exposed to business technology in a way I never thought possible.

My Director was training me to become a Business Development Manager (BDM) ~ fancy title aye? My role essentially was to help sell new technologies/solutions (namely in IT and Telecoms) and become a specialist in Cloud based solutions and their capabilities.

I would have to prospect for new business, design high level solutions to meet business requirements, support the delivery of these solutions and Account Management. (I realise I have just become one of those annoyingly corporate people that just uses all these words, half of which make absolutely no sense to anybody in the real world! Feel free to reach out and I will clarify)

I was dealing with large contracts, large sums of money and ermm… some pretty senior people. Like I’m talking interfacing with MD/CEOs of small to medium enterprises. #NoBiggie.

Surely this should be the most exciting time yet… why was I filled with so much fear?

Mel's belongings
I came back from my 6 months review to find this…  I ended up spending 3 great years with this company : )

1.    You Are Good Enough

Ok down to the facts:

At this point, my experience was limited to 87 days on a fake business management trainee scheme and 6 months unemployment, whereby the only thing I had been on time to was a trip to the Job Centre.

Despite this, I power dressed, I power walked (yup … this is an actual thing) and I power spoke (projected confidence). Yet under this veneer, there was a whole heap of self-doubt. Am I good enough?

For a start, being one of the youngest people in the office sometimes left me feeling alienated – my experience was limited (if not at zero) and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I could actually do the job.

  • Can I sell complicated Business Technology solutions … of which I currently know nothing about?
  • What if my clients find out I have a law degree rather than computer science or a degree in that area?
  • What if I say or do the wrong thing, worse yet what if my handshake is weak?
  • What if I look stupid?
  • What if I am not good enough?

This continued for months and actually, I got the very same feeling when I moved to my current job. Everyone seems to go through it – both male and female; regardless of level or seniority.

What I have learnt however, is that, the key is to believe in yourself and your capabilities – after all the person who hired you clearly does. You need to be OK with asking questions and asking for help.

In my opinion, you need to spend time with ‘you’ getting to know your own USP.

AwesomeYou need to look around you, work out who is in position that inspires you and seek to imitate them with your own personal twist.

Find out what works for you, and what you’re good at, and make sure everyone knows it – but don’t be cocky about it.

In my case, I sought to imitate  my director:

He was an extraordinary salesmen and relationship manager. He had the innate ability to ask the right questions; getting to the root cause of a business problem whilst being endearing and credible. He was basically like a CSI detective.

I was going to copy everything from his questioning skills, his leadership style to his desire to build long lasting business relationships.

Always find someone in the workplace that you can model yourself on, it will serve as both inspiration and direction

Practical Tip:

  • Write down 3 skills you have, work out how you can develop them, either by being coached or reading
  • Find a role model within your company and ask them how they overcame their self-doubt
  • Finally, don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions

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2.    The Expert Was Once a Beginner

Everything comes with time – experience included

After 7 months at the company I had sold my first account.  I could officially call myself an Account Manager as I actually had an account to manage. My client was a luxury carpentry/joinery company located just outside of London. I had built a strong relationship with both the Finance Manager and one of their Directors. Funny enough, this company was my favourite account … Shock.

Their Director had requested we provide pricing for an additional product. At the time, we didn’t offer the product that he wanted, so I had to go via a third party. The third party quoted me £30k for this product and I remember thinking… ‘£30k damn that’s a lot – more than my salary.’ (Bear in mind this is without margin or mark up, so no profit). I decided to call up the company director.

 “Hey Carl, we can provide you with this product, its £30k but as you are a valued client we are offering this to you at cost”

Right now, I am thinking “Yes Mel, great work, nice sales tactic there, girl you are SO clever… you are winning in life” #FistPump

Well … I wasn’t really.  Even if it did sell, we would make no money and therefore no profit which goes against purpose of my role. #Awks

Understandably when my Director found out, he was not best pleased – I think his words were along the lines of

‘How does a business make any money if you’re selling products at cost price because you like the person?”

Yeah, I was out- I had nothing, no response, no excuse, nothing.

Following that incident, my director began coaching me around business revenues, profits and margins. He said to me “It is OK to make mistakes, it is not OK not to learn from them”, furthermore it’s better that it’s done earlier on in your career. (Though the fact the client didn’t buy the product probably helped me keep my job)

The point from the above is that, we are all beginners once and that’s okay.master

In fact, embrace it – use the time to fail, to make mistakes, to gain industry/product knowledge. The fact is most of our important lessons come through trial and error and with time these lessons will shape you and your career.

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Take time to be a master of your craft and to actually understand what you do. Take time to be a beginner.

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3.    Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Probably my greatest lesson…

“The days you are most uncomfortable are the days you learn the most about yourself” ~ Mary Bean

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable because days where I would feel frustrated, scared and sometimes even teary, were the times I was learning, developing and growing. Moving out of your comfort zone births new things, things you never even thought were possible. In my most uncomfortable days, I began to understand myself better, what I like and dislike,what I am good at (and bad at), values, passions and subsequently – my career.

Being uncomfortable is great; it changes mindsets, it causes you to focus, it encourages you to do whatever it takes to hit that goal. Ultimately being uncomfortable dictates your behaviour; if you hate a job it will cause you to leave, if you don’t understand something it will cause you to learn, if you’re not happy with your life, it will cause you to do something that makes you happy and if you’re doing just OK… it will cause you to do better.

When my Director would set me, what seemed like, impossible sales targets which put me completely out of my comfort zone, I would embrace them (rather than just cry- I cried a lot). It was in these moments that I began to ‘fly’. It was in these moments where I began to read more.  I read blogs, industry magazines and autobiographies of great business minds, whatever it took to get me hitting those targets.  Being uncomfortable changes behaviours.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s going to happen a lot throughout your career; these are the precious growth moments and with this let us not forget; pressure is what turns coal into valuable diamonds.

“In life you either need inspiration or desperation” ~Tony Robbins

These are the points when change comes.

Mel x

City Girl
Me, in my first year of work : )

Unemployment; Laid Bare

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 5 Comments

And so, My Journey continues… You may remember from my last post; I had just quit my job after 87 days because “if you don’t love it… change it”. As it stood, I was now “NEET”- one of the thousands of 18-24 year olds “Not in Education, Employment or Training.”

Well, let me tell you how I felt – I felt like Superwoman. I did something I was afraid of. I felt liberated and, oddly enough, I felt a sense of achievement. I had figured out what I didn’t want to do and, a message from 27 year old me to the 22 year old me – That’s when you’re halfway there.  

The University Dream had remained just that – a dream.

Months One and Two: The Good Times Were Short-lived

The first two months were fun. I caught up with friends, had sleepovers and was out on ‘school nights.’ I travelled back and forth to Leicester and faked student life; house parties, and 10% off in Topshop using my friend’s student card … #DontJudge #NoRegrets.

When in London, I applied endlessly to roles that I thought I might enjoy, but again, the lack of direction was evident. I received rejection letters on a daily basis. rejection-letter2 After two months it all became very real – Leicester stopped because the little I’d saved had ran out and 10% off clothes wasn’t that exciting when you couldn’t actually afford to buy the remaining 90%.  Suddenly, what was fun and somewhat liberating became worrying and extremely restrictive.

Yes … unemployment is hard. You were never meant to be unemployed for more than 3 months. You have a Law degree from  a top university. You are employable. And there it was – the ‘false sense of entitlement’ playing havoc again.

You are plagued with the disillusion that it will somehow to take 3 months, you’ll land your dream job and this would obviously be everything you have been holding out for…

Wrong. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that.

Finding a role; a career – it takes a while. It takes an incredible amount of effort and focus. I wanted to be fulfilled; to contribute. I wasn’t interested in merely living to pay bills or to simply ‘make money’.

“Do not make money your primary consideration, you will almost certainly fail or better yet be unhappy”

I wanted to change the world. Melissa Owusu AKA Superwoman (just in case you missed that the first time).

Months Three and Four: Superwoman Who?

Three months passed. I was waking up for what seemed like nothing; watching one of my brothers leave for school at 8:00 and my mum leave for work at 8:45. I would call my friends for a chat, but it had to be before 9:00 or they too would be at work. I felt purposeless.

It is not in my nature to not be engaged, to not be mentally challenged and to not learn. The 21 years of my life so far had been filled with just that – developing, growing … and yet here I was sitting on my laurels doing nothing. I was broken.

I was still applying and getting very little traction; I was desperate. The roles ranged from events manager to teaching. For the record, anyone that knows me can pay testament to the fact that, as much as I love to develop people professionally – I have zero patience and, therefore, no business in teaching.

However I did learn the lesson below:

The easiest way to lose focus on a dream is to be distracted by another. Don’t lose focus.

Four months passed. I genuinely couldn’t believe I was still unemployed and by this point I had no money. I was fortunate enough to live at home with my family, but little things like phone bill, car insurance, contact lenses prescriptions all become huge expenses. I had to sign on, yes I was on Job Seekers Allowance, a measly £50.00 per week and the stigma society attached to this was even greater.

Job centre This place, The Jobcentre,  sucked the soul out of me. Quite frankly, the office stank. The air was stale; a mix of bad BO and urine and the atmosphere was cold. You felt like all eyes were on you; you could just hear the judgmental thoughts as you walked in – “another one skiving off the Government – why can’t she just go and work in MacDonald’s or something”

“Sit down Miss Owusu- Why are you here?”

“Well I’m here because I thought I was Superwoman. I quit my job and didn’t really plan on being unemployed for more than 3 months, I still haven’t discovered my passion and now I have no money”

The above, probably wouldn’t have gone down too well, this woman didn’t really care about my ‘passions’ or my desire ‘to change the world’. This woman had a job to do and her job was to hit employment targets – and therefore my role was to fill this quota for her.

She offered me admin roles, council roles and retail roles. Now there is no shame in any of these professions but they were not for me – they weren’t going to fulfil my purpose.

I left feeling even lower than when I entered and nothing had changed. Every other Thursday I would do it all again.

Yes… unemployment is hard.

To anyone currently in this position know that time really is the best medicine. It does get better. Promise x

Months Five and Six: My ‘Aha’ Moment

Unfortunately I cannot tell you what changed, but I can tell you that the 5th month sparked something. I had spent the earlier months; languishing- applying, crying, applying, signing on, crying and crying some more. I knew that I was the only one who could change my destiny. I was in charge of my future. Opportunities do arise, but if they don’t – create them. And if they do appear, make sure you’re ready.

Learn about yourself, assess your own skills, read more, be comfortable with who you are and plan where you’re heading.

Question yourself:

  • Who do you want to be?
  • What are you happiest doing?
  • Where do your skills lie?

“What generates passion in you is a clue to your destiny. What you love is often a clue to something you can achieve.

~ Anon

I took various online psychometric tests around careers, skills and finding your passion. I researched roles that encompassed these skills/ attributes. I researched industries and companies alike. I found role models on LinkedIn, studied their journey and  then I began networking.

I joined a specialist recruitment firm who recruited for my desired role and tailored my CV. This time, I stuck to my dream. I constantly applied for these targeted positions until I got traction. There were no distractions this time and no stopping me.

6 months after beginning this journey, in July 2010 I was offered a (dream) role as a Business Development Manager at a small IT and Telecoms Firm.  I loved this company, it provided a firm foundation for who I am today and was my stepping stone into the Corporate world.

So I urge you …

Keep on not settling, it will all be worth it in the end. 

Mel x

Some online tests I took are below:

https://surveys.universumglobal.com/

http://www.16personalities.com/

http://www.career-test.co.uk/test.php 

The University Dream

~ Melissa Owusu ~ 5 Comments

IMG_8386

So here I am, beaming smile, Melissa Owusu the Law Graduate “top 20 university in the UK”. I can get ANY job I want WITH a base salary of at least £30k – because I have a degree. A degree means you’re employable, it means you’re desireable and the business world therefore owes you.  This is the “University Dream”; a common myth fed to all graduates.

At this point, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do. All I knew was, it wasn’t Law.  Working out what you want to do is quite possibly one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. It takes a lot of soul-searching and, actually, doing things that you don’t like. When you know what you don’t like, it makes it easier to find out what you do like. It’s almost like crossing something off a very long list.  It’s about assessing three things; your skill set, what makes you smile, and your passions. When all three match up you find your calling. But I digress…

After 6 months of endless job applications, my first job offer came along; from a renowned international rental car company offering a ‘Business Management Trainee’ scheme. ‘Perfect’, I thought. I knew I wanted to go into ‘business’ but I didn’t really know what business actually was, or what the job role actually entailed… just business right. It sounds cool?

It wasn’t quite the £30k I imagined, (in fact it was more like £18K…) but it was my first real job. You know, salary, taxes, national insurance et al. Plus, I could finally wear ‘the classic pencil dress’ and the ‘higher than life heels’.

heels

But it was short-lived. I absolutely hated it. I was a glorified driver. Here I am, Melissa Owusu, the Law Graduate with a false sense of self-entitlement, fuelled by the “University Dream…” and I was driving people around.

I wasn’t using my brain and I certainly wasn’t learning about business; What does it take to run a business? What were the challenges associated with running a successful business? How did behaviours in areas such as Finance and Accounting differ to Sales and Marketing. Revenue, Profits and Margins were still alien terms to me.

The hours were long; 7:45am – 7:30pm, and I was on an industrial estate a long way from the bright lights of the city. I also had to buy flat shoes as driving in heels wasn’t really an option and not one of my wisest decisions.

After 87 days I quit. I didn’t have a new job to go to. In fact, I was quite sure I would have to claim Job Seekers Allowance, but at 21 that didn’t scare me as much as going into a place of work every day and hating it. I felt liberated, yet scared and anxious. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, I just knew I didn’t want to do this.  I came home one-day, I cried to my mum, and said I couldn’t do it anymore. It was that horrible cry, where you look really ugly, your mascara runs, as does your nose, and you become breathless (only mothers can see you in that state).

I was working 12 hour days and learning nothing, not being challenged mentally and definitely not growing. I still had no commercial awareness, still had no concept of the ‘business world’ and still no closer to my dreams. And there we have it; my first lesson.

You spend most of your time at work; you’re there more than you see your family, friends and loved ones. If you’re not growing or learning AND it makes you unhappy, leave. Nothing deserves to make you unhappy. Absolutely nothing.

I will never work in a job I hate again, and this experience taught me the importance of loving what you do and doing what you love. And if you don’t love it, change it.

And that’s my first piece of advice to you.

If you don’t love it, change it. Life is too short to do something you don’t enjoy.

Love Mel x

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: if today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something”

~ Steve Jobs