Ok, so ‘mentor’ is a massive buzzword at the moment, it’s normally preceded by the words ‘I need a…’ It probably comes hand in hand with career progression, passion or purpose. Funny enough it is an essential part of my journey so I thought I would share with you how I found my mentor and how she made a huge impact on my life and continues to do so.

So really, what is the big deal anyway?

Why, even a wannabe Superwoman needs a mentor;

• She overcame a job that made her severely unhappy – alone
• Unemployment where she questioned her self-worth and almost became hopeless – alone
• In her first year of work where she challenged her own ability – alone

Well I guess it’s just that, the above though hard & testing can be done alone. To achieve real career success, professional credibility and influence in any field, you cannot do it alone and there is nothing more powerful than someone who has travelled that road previously.

Studies show the most successful people have mentors, Steve Jobs (Apple) mentored Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook), Larry Summers mentored Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO and Creator of Lean In), and Jaz- O mentored Jay-Z (Hip-hop Millionaire Mogul and Entrepreneur)

I am so very excited about sharing this part of my journey with you; arguably this is when my transition began. I was no longer a graduate; now I am a professional in my own right and needed someone to kindly show me the way.

Where am I?

August 2012, two years into a great role and my skill-set, along with my confidence, has grown exponentially. I’ve also been introduced to red wine – Malbec to be precise, blame that on one of my old Directors.

I now have around 20 key accounts under my belt, won by me and now managed by me.

My role has developed into a product specialist and I was hanging with the bigwigs at the top of the BT tower. Meetings were held at the W Hotel and guess what? Yep, I was still power-dressing. #Consistency.

Oh and I’ve also managed to win me an iPad for going above and beyond my job role.

Life is sweet.

But ermm… so what next?

I had hit the glass ceiling, this company was small, with middle-management near enough non-existent and the next level up from my position was Director. Though I wanted to be Superwoman, I wasn’t quite ready for Directorship after 2 years… #Awks.

Turning Point; I Need A Mentor

Mentors; they have been there, done that and have the T-shirt to prove it. They have both the benefit of hindsight and experience… and you will be happy to know that 9/10 want to help someone else reach their potential. #Fact. 🙂

Who better to learn from and seek guidance from?

Mentors can give you perspective, they are aware of other professions and can therefore advise on where you could be best placed (even if you don’t see it)

Mentors possess skills such as empathy and leadership. They are great communicators and advisors, most importantly they are likely to have a great (MASSIVE, HUGE, LARGE) network of which you can hopefully tap into.

Basically they have the ‘know-how’ and the ‘know-who’.

At this point I had an idea of the life I wanted to live but no clue on how to get there… in fact I didn’t even know where to start.

Finding a Mentor 

The journey of finding a mentor is both uncomfortable and beautiful at the same time. You overcome the fear of rejection, you approach the unknown, you hope and when your Mentor finally does turn up, it is indeed beautiful.

BUT

You need to come prepared;

Mentors are great in helping shape you but they need to have something they can work with at the very least, they need a foundation.

Get Your House In Order!

I put together a game plan, in fact it was more like a 5 year plan filled with all the stuff I’d like to do career wise and what financial freedom looked like to me. It was jumbled and probably wouldn’t make sense to another person but having my aspirations down on paper gave me life… and direction. I could do anything #Superwoman.

I can confidently say that 3 years into living that plan, it’s happening and I’m very happy with where I am right now. The trick is to appreciate the small achievements.

After having a vision, I then became a bit of stalker and I unashamedly admit so. #JudgeMe, then read the below

Your career is too important to leave to chance

And what I mean by stalking, I really mean in-depth research on LinkedIn, google and company culture. I wanted a person that had a similar professional background to me and was now in a position I aspired to. Being a woman in Tech years ago when Marissa Mayer had just became CEO of Yahoo meant that though one door had been opened, finding other women in tech was still a rarity. I wanted someone who had climbed the ladder in a somewhat unconventional way and was relentless in their own pursuits.

Fast forward 3 weeks into August, I had found lots of great women; that, from their LinkedIn profiles to my google and company searches, fitted the bill… but one in particular stood out and only God knows why.

She worked for Microsoft and had also held positions at Avaya, Cisco and Vodafone – all massive Tech houses. I guess, what was distinctive about her was that she worked for every company that was on my 5 year plan. And you see, this is the importance of first having a vague vision before approaching a mentor, it helps guide your choice and ultimately your career.

She was pretty damn cool, she developed a bespoke solution that I knew of back then (and now) and she held a senior position at one of the most influential Tech houses of our time. She had to be the one.

Reach Out Even When It’s Scary

So after thoroughly researching her, I decided to reach out. #SuperwomanInAction

I was so SCARED, like what if she says no? What if she thinks who is this weirdo? To be honest she probably did think that. Worse yet, what if she simply doesn’t care, and I’m just in a long queue of people who have reached out previously. These self-defeating thoughts were having a field day… if it was negative, I had definitely thought of them.

I put together a message, it was vulnerable, I left myself exposed (to rejection) and in just over 100 words, I basically said ‘I need your help’. If I learned anything throughout this season, it is to

Be authentically you with yourself and others, ask for help when you need it

Mentors serve as guides, wise counsel but most of all they help you.
This is what I sent her:

I can tell you right now, at the very point I sent that message, I tried to recall it. Recalling isn’t a thing on LinkedIn FYI.

I was so badly gripped by the fear of rejection that it nearly got in the way of something amazing. Luckily, it had gone. It was in her inbox.

And my biggest lesson if I may…

Make rejection your best-friend, make it so that it cannot phase you nor dictate how you feel, your greatest achievement will come from rejection. Do not let it stop you.

1 day went past. You know… she’s busy, she’s Senior and works for Microsoft for goodness sake. Get a grip Melissa.

5 days that ‘rejection’ thing rears its ugly head again. This time I complained to my brother Aaron:

Why hasn’t she responded, I knew this was a bad idea… What makes me special’? He reminded ,me to be patient and… oh that if she doesn’t respond what exactly do I lose?

7 days 8:58pm she replies. I remember being out with one of my friends and then I screamed. Little old me, Melissa Owusu, a nobody, a young lady with nothing more than dreams of being an influencer within Tech… this woman who strategises for the bigwigs at Microsoft replies with…

And The Rest Is History…

True to her word we met up, it was a quaint little coffee shop in Chiswick, London. Nervous? Yes I was, though I was armed with my 5 year plan and 5 poignant questions:

• What inspires you?
• Why did you agree to meet with me?
• What should, and could I be doing next?
• What were your challenges and how did you overcome them
• Can you help me?

I don’t think it’s necessary to call out all her responses, but one in particular left me gobsmacked. (That rarely happens)

Why did you agree to meet me?

She said that in the early parts of her career, she had flown out to Nortel’s (now Avaya) annual technology conference in Las Vegas. She messaged the Vice President and President of Nortel on LinkedIn asking to meet her in Starbucks for a coffee and ‘catch up’. Needless to say she was offered a job on the spot and started with them two weeks later. A few years following that she was head-hunted for Microsoft… because obviously that’s ‘a thing’ and it happens all the time.

I was like…but ermm… I mean I didn’t exactly fly out to ANOTHER COUNTRY, and she said, but you reached out and that is the most important step, it usually always works.

Reach out, it’s the most important step

She changed everything, she inspired me and encouraged me, she advised me on new roles and the world of work that is out there. She taught me to believe in myself and to see the value of my skills wherever I go. She even taught me how to negotiate my salary 🙂

And the rest is history, by the time I left my old company, I had 3 jobs offers, all of which were large Tech Houses (all from my 5 year plan) and I had the choice as to my next steps and my career (we will discuss that transition in my next post).

Here I am working for a Top 4 Technology Consulting firm, managing Projects over £1 million pounds and, a team of 11 as well as Sales & advisory work. I can honestly say reaching out to her was one of the best things I have done for my career and she continues to support me up to today.

I hope I have left you empowered…empowered enough to reach out. X

Mel

In a world of fads and fashions, have the courage to stake out a domain where you are the expert. You won’t be all things to all people, but when you do compete, you’ll win